Day #2 The Weigh In
Today was the weigh in, and after two weeks of eating right daily, and working out most of the time I still managed to gain back the five pounds I lost. So I am right back where I started. ( 245 pounds) What a fucking number? Five pounds to 250, and 50 pounds to 300. I am fat. Don't think I have low self esteem because I really don't. I have come to accept the fact that I am fat. Maybe it was that piece of cake I snuck, and ate at work, or the dessert I had with my fifth healthy meal. I love sweats that is my down fall, or maybe I am due for that bitch Cynthia to come to town (my menstrual). I usually gain weight when she comes to town. Maybe I didn't work out as hard as I could have this week. I wanted to beat myself up about why the hell I gained the weight I lost. It was such a surprise to me, when my husband said "Don't worry about the scale. You have been eating better, and working out. Just keep it up." You know what my mind would have told me. "Your still fat we minus well get us some fat girl food. You know you want some ice cream." Those small words of encouragement stopped me from stopping at the nearest Chinese store to drown myself in my sorrows. I have accepted the fact that I am fat, and a little is not enough. I have accepted that I have to put my all into loosing weight to be a healthier better me. To any of you who are sensitive to the fat word. Don't be just because no one is saying it to your face, please believe they are saying it behind your back. Its like FA (Fat Anonymous) Hi my name is Chanel, and I am fat.
Change the Changeable, accept the unchangeable, and remove yourself from the unacceptable --Denis Waitley
Change the thought that you can't loose weight because you can, accept the fact their will be bumps along the road, and fight for better because it is unacceptable to silently kill yourself.
It is hard for me to accept this skin I am in.
Pounds of fat, stretch marks, and rolls I am in.
Diseased pieces of fat ready to take my life away skin I am in.
Unable to walk long distances without breathing heavy this skin has affected my lungs.
Unable to walk up the steps my chest is pounding, and hurting this skin has affected my heart.
Unable to make good choices in the food I eat this skin has affected my mind.
It’s hard for me to decide what to wear sweats, and hoodies hide this skin I am in.
The doctor said you better smarten up girl, your cholesterol is high girl, you are ready to have a stroke in all that skin you are in.
Would you like to know what can happen to you in all that skin you’re in: How about being so obese you can’t clean your own ass, and confined to only a bed in that skin you’re in.
How about having diabetes, and unable to feel your fingers, and toes in that skin you’re in, so bad that you can lose a foot in that skin you’re in.
How about having to take pills for your blood pressure for the rest of your life in all that skin you’re in.
How about living on oxygen, for the rest of your life in all that skin you’re in, and that’s just to name a few.
All that skin is a disease that is killing you. Big can be beautiful on the outside, what about what’s killing you on the inside.
Accept the challenge to change your life style!